realities nonetheless

the raindrops generously plattered onto the moving window panes, spraying mercurial lines that cracked and jagged, windblown diagonal, before blurring away as if a life went spent; many lives spent; in its place new splatters. i had philip glass in my ears, and it lifted but calmed my spirits, so much my mind became pellucid. i saw us in the car, me looking out to the flashing rows of trees, lampposts, the more reluctant buildings. and i thought how you could become a lover that never was; i was sure you had, at some points in time shared this exact sentiment; how time and distance apart, we extracted the same memories and reconstructed similar fantasies, that then became realities of sorts, even if fragile and ephemeral; but realities nonetheless.

p.s. i've always been ambivalent about the outside world this window presents. but in time to come i think i'll start missing those hours and days and nights sitting by this window, looking, contemplating, imagining; the numbness as well as the inspirations; the quiet time with myself.