hello mrs c.,
how've you been doing? two months into my job and i'm convinced of my incompatibility with full-time work. the mind and body simply refuse to adhere to the disciplines of regular working hours (how ridiculous, this artificial constraint), professional rules, norms, and practices (socialising into corporatism's evil agendas), and of course, the various totalitarian accoutrements like the boss, the damn deadlines, and such onerous things like job-tasks. argh. it seems a contradiction that i love my job nature, but i abhor having to work. maybe in the general scheme of things i am just rebellious; i dont know for sure yet, though past experience seems to confirm this streak - and maybe you can tell me, given your traumatic experience with my mischevious past. i seem to have an instinctive resistance toward any forms of authority. another aspect is probably physiological - but once again, i cannot be sure and perhaps might need professional opinion - my predilection for doing work at night (or study, as i used to) essentially means i kinda switch off in the day. no problems with that apart from the obvious fact that i am expected to be in the office for a good part of daylight, daily, from now till i resign (or get fired, whichever comes first haah). and being around and about in this panopticon of an office also means that i have to socialise and make small-talk. i like people, i really do, though once again these days i'm not very sure, for recent developments seems to detect in me strains of misanthropy - that is on top of my pre-existing misogyny (sorry mrs chan no offence meant, i make exceptions for those who deserve it and you clearly do hahaha). this, no thanks to my increasing dislike for things capitalist, technological, and modern. that other day i was strolling down orchard road and i couldnt stop sneering at those monstrous buildings adorned with cartier and chanel heraldry (beautiful people included). someone gotta save me before i really and truly become a marxist luddite, which in singapore's context effectively confers (or condemns) me persona non grata - or worse, living under that holy thing called detention-without-trial [till-god-knows-when]. you know i'm just a normal citizen who happens to be the quiet sort; rather curl up with a cup of coffee and a good book and to hell with the rest of the world than to curl my tongue and go OH DEARRRRRRRRRIE HOW ARRRRRRRRE YOUUUUUUUUU!!! and planting fake smiles along the way. urgh. i disgust at that phoney scene. but well, things happen, and i happen to live in that kind of phoney world right now.
me.
how've you been doing? two months into my job and i'm convinced of my incompatibility with full-time work. the mind and body simply refuse to adhere to the disciplines of regular working hours (how ridiculous, this artificial constraint), professional rules, norms, and practices (socialising into corporatism's evil agendas), and of course, the various totalitarian accoutrements like the boss, the damn deadlines, and such onerous things like job-tasks. argh. it seems a contradiction that i love my job nature, but i abhor having to work. maybe in the general scheme of things i am just rebellious; i dont know for sure yet, though past experience seems to confirm this streak - and maybe you can tell me, given your traumatic experience with my mischevious past. i seem to have an instinctive resistance toward any forms of authority. another aspect is probably physiological - but once again, i cannot be sure and perhaps might need professional opinion - my predilection for doing work at night (or study, as i used to) essentially means i kinda switch off in the day. no problems with that apart from the obvious fact that i am expected to be in the office for a good part of daylight, daily, from now till i resign (or get fired, whichever comes first haah). and being around and about in this panopticon of an office also means that i have to socialise and make small-talk. i like people, i really do, though once again these days i'm not very sure, for recent developments seems to detect in me strains of misanthropy - that is on top of my pre-existing misogyny (sorry mrs chan no offence meant, i make exceptions for those who deserve it and you clearly do hahaha). this, no thanks to my increasing dislike for things capitalist, technological, and modern. that other day i was strolling down orchard road and i couldnt stop sneering at those monstrous buildings adorned with cartier and chanel heraldry (beautiful people included). someone gotta save me before i really and truly become a marxist luddite, which in singapore's context effectively confers (or condemns) me persona non grata - or worse, living under that holy thing called detention-without-trial [till-god-knows-when]. you know i'm just a normal citizen who happens to be the quiet sort; rather curl up with a cup of coffee and a good book and to hell with the rest of the world than to curl my tongue and go OH DEARRRRRRRRRIE HOW ARRRRRRRRE YOUUUUUUUUU!!! and planting fake smiles along the way. urgh. i disgust at that phoney scene. but well, things happen, and i happen to live in that kind of phoney world right now.
me.
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